I can't believe it's been one year since I left for Texas. one year ago this time...I was sitting bored to death in an airport...and I wasn't going to be leaving for another 5-6 hours and I had already been there for 3. yup 9 whole hours in the Dallas airport..with out phone...with out a friend. but God provided.
Last night there was a bombing in Uganda. I can't imagine what would be going through my head if this had happened a year ago... I'm on my way to my first international missions trip..and the night before I leave, there are two terrorist attacks in the City that I am staying in...the City I told my parents was safe from warfare (LRA wise...I was right).
Its time I look back at what all I learned in Uganda. Why did I go? What came of it? Do I want to go back or go somewhere else? What did I learn? was I changed? encouraged? empowered?
I want to answer all of these questions, and I feel that you my supports who probably gave up on this blog a long long time ago...again, I really wish I could have kept this up...you should get to know what God did in Uganda..in me...
Why did I go?
I went to Uganda to get out of Lawrence...Now why Uganda? I chose Uganda because my heart was broken for the children there and I had been fighting for them for almost a year and, Because I wanted to go somewhere I could clearly see God working, and Its been a childhood dream of mine since I can remember.
Do I want to go back?
Yes I want to live there at somepoint in my life for a while... I feel like it will always be somewhere I feel somewhat home at... However, I do want to go to other places. Next on my list is India. Right before leaving for Uganda I saw slumdog millionaire, and on the flights to and from my trip and on my trip I ran into women who were muslim and hindu. After talking to them, my heart broke at the injustice that they go through for just being a woman. They do not know that they are Treasured Princesses in Christ.
What did I learn?
I learned that I am dirt. I learned, that the size of our country is actually a sin, not a blessing...(I say this because all of these amazing people I met live all across the country, and most I'll never see again...) I learned that I am not alone, That there are hundreds just like me. We are all struggling with the same things, and God is showing all of us his love in different ways. I learned a ton about Spiritual warfare. Its something I've never given a thought to..but now I know it exsists, and we need to fight it through prayer. I also learned what it meant to be a true servant. Its something I still need to practice. Overall I think I could sum it up in one phrase...God showed me his love, and he began to teach me how to love.
now was I encouraged?
Yes YES YESSS so much so, it hurts everyday I'm not with the men on our team who called us "oh most beautiful daughters of Zion." and other brotherly terms that just reaffirmed us in our womanhood and feminity. Honestly we couldn't have asked for better guys. They really stepped up, and I have high high HIGH expectations for Men of Christ now.
But I was also Discouraged. I have always thought myself to be on track with my walk, but While there in Uganda, I learned that I am not at all, and that in fact, I really suck at my fellowship with Christ. Its a good kind of discouragement...the kind that gets you questioning things, and unhappy with the status quo..the kind that brings about change...but let me tell you..The status quo doesn't give up without a fight.
And finally was I changed or empowered?
I wanted to come home changed...but there was too much to change to do it all at once. however, I felt empowered. I felt ready for senior year. I felt like with God on my side I was unstoppable. Everything that I saw there and felt there, won't ever leave me. It will be a constant reminder to all of the Power and Love and Self Sacrifice I witnessed while I was there.
In one of my journal entries I wrote about what I could of been doing that summer...Sleeping in, hanging with friends, go to the sidewalk sale, take long steamy showers, or take a dip in the cool pool...But I chose to wake up early, Be cold at night, and hot in the afternoon, have Ice cold showers with no way to dry my icy cold dripping hair, and eating pb&J everyday, maybe even skipping a meal here and there. I wrote that I wouldn't have ever changed it, and I would give it up in a heart beat to do it all over again.
